I weigh exactly 196 pounds. It is definitely not something to be proud of especially at the young age of 19. I can sit here and give you guys some bullshit a** reasons as to how I am technically not at fault but the truth is, it’s nobody’s fault but my own.

I have been a chubby kid since the third grade and have stayed the chubby kid up until today. However, I gained majority of my weight the summer before senior year when I went through a short period of depression. And no I am not one of those girls who will bring up things they have suffered through for sympathy. My depression was definitely not the cause of my increase in weight but the habits that I picked up during that period of my life definitely was.

For as long as I can remember (like the beginning of middle school) I have had my family down my throat about my weight and while at the time I was not ridiculously overweight, I was not skinny either. It was at a point where I wanted to avoid seeing my relatives because I knew the first thing that would be mentioned would be about my weight.

Then it moved on to my mom making me go on all these ridiculous diets and while they did work for a short time, I was and still am a stubborn kid and I don’t like being told what do. Having said that I would turn around and do the complete opposite just to disobey her, not thinking of the consequences I would be paying for now. Eventually my mom gave up realizing that the only way I would really lose the weight was if I did it on my own.

So now were moving on to just last year, while my dad is in my life he is usually very quite about his opinion regarding us kids ( I have 3 other siblings). Well that changed rather quickly, he slowly began to make rude comments about my weight when it was just me and him and no else was around. Eventually he started getting bolder and saying things in front of others too. While I understood and knew that I was fat, overweight, obese or whatever you wanna call it, hearing your parent berate you in that way hurts. So naturally after almost a year with dealing with this and not expressing how I felt I had what I guess you might call a mental breakdown. Like I mean full on sobbing, the whole shebang ( I think thats how you spell it)!

So here I am now ready to start my Journey to Happiness because I no longer want my body to control my life.

– Fat Girl


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